i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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