Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
