Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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