After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
