That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
But break dance skills will only take you so far
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
