I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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