I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
