I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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