? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
