so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
