i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
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If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
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Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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