god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize