Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
