Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
