Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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