New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
