I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
