shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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