Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
don't judge my taste in strippers
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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