Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
