i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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