Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
