you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
