Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
