There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
