I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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