This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
4 words: hood of his car
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
