This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
