all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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