yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
