found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
