she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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