Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life