I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
