I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
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