how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize