plz talk dirty to me
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
