Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
