Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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