Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
