can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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