Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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