chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
