shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
