thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
