Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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