'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
