I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
