Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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