They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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