my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
