Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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