How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
