Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
