YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Randomize
