You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
My feet surprised me
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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