So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize