Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize