Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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