i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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