I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
